Last post for today...
I reckon I've done quite well!
So far today, Dave has had a great day at work and he might be off to New York soon!
We have just cleared a big horrid debt - or we think we have - waiting to hear that the check has been received so we can start saving for a house in our new home of Canada!!!
I love my job, but it can be a bit mind numbing sometimes waiting for client approval - I must say I like my clients though.
The little ones love day-care and did such cute crafts today. i got a very professional spider web drawing with a daddy spider, a big brother spider, and a mommy spider in the middle of the web with baby eggs!
Abby did a cotton wool stick on puppy which she is VERY proud of, and Josh has a brand new special stone. I'm wondering if my dad's geological gene's have not been passed to Josh who LOVES gravel, sand, stones, and shiny rocks - and will spend AGES finding them, polishing them and protectively hoarding them. .. which send Abby and Nathan into a frenzy at bedtime of finding their OWN rock, ordinary stone, river polished stone (of wich we have a bunch thanks to a clever and intuitive granny) to pop under their pillow for safe keeping for the night... yes we have teddys, but shiny special rocks and shells seem to take preference...
And my God thought for the day is this: CHILD DISCIPLINE
Proverbs 13:24
One who spares the rod hates his son, but one who loves him is careful to discipline him.
OK, so this doesn;t mean beat your children, it means DISCIPLINE them when they do something wrong or they will believe they can do what they like when they like and how they like.
HOW?
- show your displeasure in the tone of your voice
- tell them you will take them away from where they are or want to go IMMEDIATELY if they don't stop
- follow through (I have left a supermarket trolley full of food with all three kids to go back to the car to have a chat with one to enforce what I say
- follow further if required with a relevant 'punishment' - as immediate as you can make it. If they are used to a treat after the shop - no treat.
- if they misbehave at home, a sit down time-out while you carry on with normal routine which may mean No Story, No Lullaby, No desert etc
- while they are little, 'learning punishments' / lessons need to be fast activated or they miss the meaning, they need to be very applicable, and they need to be more a deprivation than a physical punishment... I know this sounds like Pavlov's formula (yes I HAVE studied Psych - along with a few other subjects...), but it has worked for me - as long as I have kept it relevant..
I am NOT saying that a solid flick on the hand, or flat hand on the bum may not be just what is needed at times. And I DO believe that trying to explain all things always is important, but sometimes little ones just want their own way , and you need to deal with it - it's your JOB mom and dad. If you don't teach them what's acceptable and what's not - who will?
I AM SAYING THAT YOU NEVER, EVER:- smack a child anywhere on his or her body or face
- smack to bruise or cause welts or bruises
- smack for fun
- smack in a temper
A very mild smack that does not mark or actually physically hurt a child will affect them if it is administered sparingly, and if it known that such a 'punishment' is as a result of 'disappointing you' or being in your 'bad books' - remember they are YOUR little people. YOU are their HERO. They crave, need and thrive on your love, affection and approval. You don't have to hurt or damage them to show your displeasure.
And you need to always show your pleasure and approval - whenever it is warranted, and don't set the boundaries too high - they're little... everything they do they think is both great and important. Support them whenever you can. TELL them you love them, appreciate them, think they are special.. you know, sometimes even let them know that you need them too - start instilling a sense of responsibility early - not a guilt complex, a loving and respectful understanding of YOU.. and if you are WRONG, for goodness sake, tell them you're sorry.
.. And if you ask for guidance from the Holy Spirit, read up on what the Bible has to say (Proverbs), and LISTEN to Him - you wont go far wrong...
Well these are all MY thoughts. I am not a child psychologist. I am not an abusive parent. My kids love me and I love them. I have apparently, according TO child experts, extremely well adapted and happy, loved and loving children. I lose my temper with 3 kids 5 and under sometimes and have to count mickey-mouse and hum 'Jesus Loves Me' to settle - which I do, but I am kind of expecting a ranting few comments if this page is ever indexed... I will endeavour with the grace of God to answer as honestly and as truthfully as I can any such comment, but I stand by what I say.
So far today, Dave has had a great day at work and he might be off to New York soon!
We have just cleared a big horrid debt - or we think we have - waiting to hear that the check has been received so we can start saving for a house in our new home of Canada!!!
I love my job, but it can be a bit mind numbing sometimes waiting for client approval - I must say I like my clients though.
The little ones love day-care and did such cute crafts today. i got a very professional spider web drawing with a daddy spider, a big brother spider, and a mommy spider in the middle of the web with baby eggs!
Abby did a cotton wool stick on puppy which she is VERY proud of, and Josh has a brand new special stone. I'm wondering if my dad's geological gene's have not been passed to Josh who LOVES gravel, sand, stones, and shiny rocks - and will spend AGES finding them, polishing them and protectively hoarding them. .. which send Abby and Nathan into a frenzy at bedtime of finding their OWN rock, ordinary stone, river polished stone (of wich we have a bunch thanks to a clever and intuitive granny) to pop under their pillow for safe keeping for the night... yes we have teddys, but shiny special rocks and shells seem to take preference...
And my God thought for the day is this: CHILD DISCIPLINE
Proverbs 13:24
One who spares the rod hates his son, but one who loves him is careful to discipline him.
OK, so this doesn;t mean beat your children, it means DISCIPLINE them when they do something wrong or they will believe they can do what they like when they like and how they like.
HOW?
- show your displeasure in the tone of your voice
- tell them you will take them away from where they are or want to go IMMEDIATELY if they don't stop
- follow through (I have left a supermarket trolley full of food with all three kids to go back to the car to have a chat with one to enforce what I say
- follow further if required with a relevant 'punishment' - as immediate as you can make it. If they are used to a treat after the shop - no treat.
- if they misbehave at home, a sit down time-out while you carry on with normal routine which may mean No Story, No Lullaby, No desert etc
- while they are little, 'learning punishments' / lessons need to be fast activated or they miss the meaning, they need to be very applicable, and they need to be more a deprivation than a physical punishment... I know this sounds like Pavlov's formula (yes I HAVE studied Psych - along with a few other subjects...), but it has worked for me - as long as I have kept it relevant..
I am NOT saying that a solid flick on the hand, or flat hand on the bum may not be just what is needed at times. And I DO believe that trying to explain all things always is important, but sometimes little ones just want their own way , and you need to deal with it - it's your JOB mom and dad. If you don't teach them what's acceptable and what's not - who will?
I AM SAYING THAT YOU NEVER, EVER:- smack a child anywhere on his or her body or face
- smack to bruise or cause welts or bruises
- smack for fun
- smack in a temper
A very mild smack that does not mark or actually physically hurt a child will affect them if it is administered sparingly, and if it known that such a 'punishment' is as a result of 'disappointing you' or being in your 'bad books' - remember they are YOUR little people. YOU are their HERO. They crave, need and thrive on your love, affection and approval. You don't have to hurt or damage them to show your displeasure.
And you need to always show your pleasure and approval - whenever it is warranted, and don't set the boundaries too high - they're little... everything they do they think is both great and important. Support them whenever you can. TELL them you love them, appreciate them, think they are special.. you know, sometimes even let them know that you need them too - start instilling a sense of responsibility early - not a guilt complex, a loving and respectful understanding of YOU.. and if you are WRONG, for goodness sake, tell them you're sorry.
.. And if you ask for guidance from the Holy Spirit, read up on what the Bible has to say (Proverbs), and LISTEN to Him - you wont go far wrong...
Well these are all MY thoughts. I am not a child psychologist. I am not an abusive parent. My kids love me and I love them. I have apparently, according TO child experts, extremely well adapted and happy, loved and loving children. I lose my temper with 3 kids 5 and under sometimes and have to count mickey-mouse and hum 'Jesus Loves Me' to settle - which I do, but I am kind of expecting a ranting few comments if this page is ever indexed... I will endeavour with the grace of God to answer as honestly and as truthfully as I can any such comment, but I stand by what I say.
posted by mom at 8:39 PM
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