Husband and Wife - finding the right mix
I first met Dave at 17 just as I was starting university while I was working as a waitress in Cape Town. I found out later that he thought I was his dream woman – but he was so busy dating and having fun, and thinking (knowing) I was very innocent, and 8 years my senior, that at that stage he thought it best to leave it.
5 years later I met him by chance at a little obscure bar in Cape Town. He remembered me, I didn’t know who he was, except that he was gorgeous!
He obviously convinced me of something because we moved in together the next day, and we’ve been together for 10 years now.
In those 10 years we have moved 11 times, 3 times in Cape Town, once to Durban, then internationally to the UK where we moved 4 times and had 3 kids, then again internationally to Canada, where we are now moving again to our own house.. YAY!!
God is giving us a house – no more renting, and half the deposit down thanks to what I trust is His will. My dad is moving into the walkout basement with us and put up half the sale price, and the kids are delighted, and we are hoping granny will join us very soon.
We work it like this:
God
Understanding His place as the mainstay of our lives and trusting Him in everything
Communication
Making sure we understand each other, and not contradicting each other in public or in front of the kids
Support
Supporting each other in all things and through prayer, and never maligning each other to work mates, colleagues or friends, but rather boosting each other. It has a knock on effect which is great.
Loving
‘Good morning!’ and ‘how are you’ and ‘how was your day?’ hugs and kisses work wonders.
Listening
Actually listening and hearing what the other has to say without a ready made answer in place.
Doing Stuff
Doing our stuff together when the kids are down, and doing kid stuff together on the weekends, with church on Saturday nights.
Sharing
Passing along insights – biblical or just daily – and chatting about them.
Avoiding defence and attack mode
Very tricky sometimes – so we take a ‘time-out’ if we need to gather our thoughts and the communicate our feelings.
This is working so far. We have our ups and downs, but we are best friends, and God willing, that will last for many, many years!
Husbands read this: The The Husband's Responsibility
Wives and mothers read this and the bottom links Roles of the Husband and Wife (hubbies too if you will!)
5 years later I met him by chance at a little obscure bar in Cape Town. He remembered me, I didn’t know who he was, except that he was gorgeous!
He obviously convinced me of something because we moved in together the next day, and we’ve been together for 10 years now.
In those 10 years we have moved 11 times, 3 times in Cape Town, once to Durban, then internationally to the UK where we moved 4 times and had 3 kids, then again internationally to Canada, where we are now moving again to our own house.. YAY!!
God is giving us a house – no more renting, and half the deposit down thanks to what I trust is His will. My dad is moving into the walkout basement with us and put up half the sale price, and the kids are delighted, and we are hoping granny will join us very soon.
We work it like this:
God
Understanding His place as the mainstay of our lives and trusting Him in everything
Communication
Making sure we understand each other, and not contradicting each other in public or in front of the kids
Support
Supporting each other in all things and through prayer, and never maligning each other to work mates, colleagues or friends, but rather boosting each other. It has a knock on effect which is great.
Loving
‘Good morning!’ and ‘how are you’ and ‘how was your day?’ hugs and kisses work wonders.
Listening
Actually listening and hearing what the other has to say without a ready made answer in place.
Doing Stuff
Doing our stuff together when the kids are down, and doing kid stuff together on the weekends, with church on Saturday nights.
Sharing
Passing along insights – biblical or just daily – and chatting about them.
Avoiding defence and attack mode
Very tricky sometimes – so we take a ‘time-out’ if we need to gather our thoughts and the communicate our feelings.
This is working so far. We have our ups and downs, but we are best friends, and God willing, that will last for many, many years!
Husbands read this: The The Husband's Responsibility
Wives and mothers read this and the bottom links Roles of the Husband and Wife (hubbies too if you will!)
posted by mom at 7:25 PM
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