Mom Stuff

so much has happened...

2008-01-18T19:44:00.000-08:00

(June) Had to get rid of the nanny - the night job was unsatisfactory...
Granny and Grandpa came to visit - to the mountains - chased the train, walked by the lake - threw sticks - tried to go for a romantic dinner and the lights went out - played cards with granny and grandpa- found the stone bridge and emerald lake :) - I went to SMX Advanced...

(July and August) summer vac - triyng to work from home with the kids and desperately frustrated with CM. Freelanced for RangeMedia. Got to grips with facebook. Granny came to visit after the little peeps birthday (where everyone got BIIG prezzies and the cakes were ggreat and all was wonderful! :) Off to San Jose in Aug for SES.

(September) won the Yoshirolla Kilomantra comp. Nathie starts big school at POP and found Paula for the little ones due to start October.

(October) - 19th - last day at CM, 22 first day at Epiar.

(December) really got to work on preconceived SEMCanada after GK and silicon valley. Family Day HUGE fun =- loads of pressies and excited peeps :)rest of year relatively uneventful

January 2008

Granny's here, peeps are overjoyed, I'm getting *slightly* addicted to twitter, trying to finalise bookings for SEMCAnada and semisights in terms of speakers and venues... have a few confirmed speakers, want more - starting to go controversial with JC (mahalo... - we'll see)

Daddy went snowboarding and hurt his bottom, but loved it and will be going again (Tyrone). Take the peeps to the Keg or Red Lobster most Fridays (or get takeout). Split weekend mornings for wakeup - daddy ridiculously getting up at 5 every work am for gym (eeew and uuurgh and *sigh*) Nathie flying through his spelling and reading and maths (though he doesn't like maths or the bus... friends are Emerdeep, levi, thomas, kayla, and a few others - had a bit of an issue with a big boy called Khan - all sorted I think... Abby and Josh at Paulas with little Charlise, puppy Tula, Kiegan and Seth...

Dave got his new car last year - I want a Toyota Tundra truck... tired of dicky indicator and no right mirror after my fight with the cable at the daycare.... Need more money - E alright and all - but for a small company a lot of big attitudes... and perhaps not my best move....

dad diagnosed with d... house going to be on a highway - meeting on 29th will prove to be interesting. Mike Tighe has come into out lives. Lovely young man - bit bolshy, but that will smooth out I think to enormous strength and capacity. (wow, I sound old - i think I'm 9 or 10 years older than him... yikes (the crows feet are not worrying me so much - the forehead wrinkles are totally freaking me out... might have to get bangs or something...- vanity is not a good thing and can be quite destabilising)

kids are all gorgeous inside and out, healthy and wonderful - Abby is still willful, Josh is coming into his own but is still like his great oupa - pure easy sunshine with a few bearish moments, Nathan is a delightful little boy - intelligent and pushing and testing boundaries - we are trying to deal with manners and appropriate behavior, and I totally lost my rag with him in Safeways yesterday when he let out an ENORMOUS burp at the till... they did not get their dinosaur toys when we got home...

Abby is a wonderful, bright, beautiful, generous, giving little spirirt, but also exceptionally strong willed. trying to teach and discipline her without breaking that spirit is going to be the challenge of my life I think. May God help me to get it right.

Josh is BatMan right now and starting to become a little more individual... Fave programs for all are the Backyardigans, George Shrinks, mickeymouse Club, Roliepolie, berenstein Bears, Pokoyo and a few others... Just showed them Sleeping Beauty lat weekend- Abby was just overawed - beat Cinderella out... (teaching about pretend vs real, magic vs miracles, and explaining no magic is good... miracles are good and come from the Lord...

Little ones sing 'Jesus take this heart of mine' and other lovely songs - bedtime still stories, bible stories and songs and bedtime lullaby for each most nights... Nathan is slowly growing out of it which is breaking my heart - but he is getting bigger, and wonderfully so...

Nathan comes home with odd stuff sometimes from school and we have to chat about it and filter it... like wrist twists and stuff - we also have a few issues with motion sickness on the bus (he stayed home yesterday) and big kids being mean to him and friends (kids can be so unthinkingly cruel - but parents know better - it aggravates me no end and I'd sometimes like to slap the parents and give the kids an education in decency and the bible 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you...' simple - true, effective, real.... )

Abby is wearing my clothes from when I was 6-8 (she's 4) josh is nearly the same height as nathan and is in 6+ jammies (got new jammies for them the other day - and slippers - tooo too cute :)

Yes, it is possible to love little ones so much you bleed when they even whimper, but also to be so frustrated with them that you sometimes want to just have 2 hours alone - the dichotomy of parenthood - or perhaps I'm just selfish... I miss them constantly when they are not with me, I sometimes wish I could hide for a bit when they are... Three little kids so close in age is a lot - not a huge lot, but a lot for me. I love them so much I would die a hundred times for any one of them, but i get so frustrated with their disobedience (mostly the deliberate kind) or whining (selfish kind) that I want to weep...

It would probably be easier if we had the odd uncle aunt granny or close friend to help out, but we just don't, and working full time while making sure I am around *enough* for them (which is never enough if they are not with me always) and managing the house and cleaning and tidying is simply exhausting....

I should have insisted they all started sleeping in their own beds years ago - but I think that they are so little, for such a short time, it is worth the sleep deprivation now. They love sleeping with us, and soon, they won't want to know our troubles... perhaps it was the wrong decision, but I don;t regret it for an instant (except at 4:30 am...).

For my peeps... All three of you will attest to the fact that i am NOT a morning person, AM a real morning grouch, and should NEVER be woken before 7 (sorry my little ones... I never was a morning person, but I tried valiantly and did really well for a long time - after 7 years, I'm tired and want to lie in bed until 6:15... you get your breakfast when I get up - but I am no longer going to get up on demand at 5 to feed you... patience is a virtue and I'm teaching you now... :)

- Mom's done - for now ;)

"the Lord works for the good of those who love Him...." - perhaps back to church tomorrow night...

Yoshirolla Kilomantra... say what?

2007-06-13T12:04:00.000-07:00

SO, I work in Search Engine Marketing, and we are having this little in-house competition regarding the ranking of a totally nonsense term Yoshirolla Kilomantra - in my view I have little hope as I don't know anyone with a blog (or enough of them) with a decent enough trust and pr rank to boost me, and I don't have the time to write a zillion articles, or get involved in a natural link building campaign, AND the parents in law are here from the UK (I got a lovely necklace - quite chuffed!) AAAND this little family/personal blog of mine is no great testament to my seo skills as it's not even indexed... *sigh* - I didn't intend for it to be, but I'm slightly miffed now that I didn't pay more attention...

AAAAAND the fact that I am only just creeping out of the google penalty box for bad backlinks - totally unintentional - had to redo the whole site and move to an apache server, and I just don't think that Google or MSN are very pleased wit the site, though Yahoo! seems to have forgiven and forgotten. I'm going to have to work hard at some point to get my PR5's back...Aah, well... it was worth a fiddle anyway... Actually I m busy getting my new shopping cart up, so that is taking up my evenings, and I am starting to get some decent NG rankings again, so hopefully the checks will start trickling in again..

Anyhoo, if you would like to read my somewhat creative definition of Yoshirolla kilomantra - please feel free! (and any and all backlinks welcome - if you happen to have a PR9 site - I love you... really I do)

I was at the SMX conference last week, and had a total blast, and met some really awesome and highly memorable people. This blog ain't THAT private :)

I have also successfully integrated the peeps into the local Sunday School which is great fun and they do such cool stuff and crafts - you know baa-ing sheep singing about creation and big strong arm tactics singing about how strong and mighty God is (when you're a smidge of a 3 year old - it can be very funny to mommy when you try to impersonate the hulk - you know :D) tooo cute!

We finally bought a ride on tractor (mower that is) which still took Dave 8 hours to mow the lawn - and its not all done yet as we can't get around the swamp to the bottom acre of land... if it stopped raining it might help - I am hoping muchly that summer is still just around the corner and not officially here yet.

We're off to the mountains this weekend and possibly off up the Athabaska glacier again - we were so taken with it... and of course with the whole global warming thing having my dad so het-up, it might be interesting to toodle off up there again - the fact that the ice buses are so cool and fun is TOTALLY not influencing me...

Rebekkah (our awesome nanny) is just so great with the kids - Nathan is reading and starting to write the same way (mostly me admittedly) but Rebekkah does crafts, and cutting and colouring and planting and weeding and digging and fan making and stuff) I get to go home and go deeper - and amazingly enough my fabulous biggest - my 6 year old actually has a firm grip of the concept of aerodynamics and is altering his models and building style accordingly -

Josh and Abby are also just so perfect for almost 4s, and getting the alphabet right (sounds and letter names) - counting to 100 and backwards from 20 and Abby is a little artist and a little lady (apart from the very un-princess like temper tantrums), while Josh has a penchant for building blocks, climbing 'mountains' and play-fighting with Nathan. I will say that both Josh and Abby got involved in climbing the fake 'mountain' at the airport yesterday waiting for Dave's folks, and Abby scaled the big one all by herself, AND got down. Josh and Nathan were still too preoccupied with the cool 'rocket' - VERY old plane in the 'spaceport'... airports are great fun for small people... and not so fun for big people... ;)

Until next time then!

When 'We' becomes 'You'

2007-05-15T10:25:00.000-07:00

In the UK (you might remember ) we had a big jungle gym and a big swing set for the kids in the garden. Well, being the frugle one, and not wanting to outlay more on this side of the pond, *we* decided to dismantle the whole lot and I was heartily vociferous in my direction giving and martini sipping. It was a good 7 hours work in all, though I had an unexpected headache the next day and dave's arms, for some bizarre reason, didn't work right for a while.

fast forward to last weekend. the snow is gone, our swamp is drying (which is good because no mozzies - MONSTER mozzies I tell ya), and sad because of we have chirping and kricking daar buite verskrik - very Farley-Hill-y, but they may stay we think.

Anyway, *we* decided it was time to set up the jungle gym and swings... after around an hour and a half of increasingly frantic seaching (though I am suspicious of the actual effort on the hubbys part) we found the directions... One finds one needs directions when one has 31 different sized poles. bars, a zillion little screwy things and a few add ons like nets, fireman poles, sittey mat climbey thingeys and whatnot.

Flushed with our initial success, and full of enthusiasm, we hoofed it out to the garden... 2 hours later we were still fighting the 3rd bolt (the first two had given us a sneaky false sense of security). Well, needless to say, lunch time came around and I went in to feed the kids, realised the washing needed doing, vacuumed and watched some Tv with the kids, it was a lovely normal day... until we decided to look at the geese on the pond and on peeking out the window remembered the point of the day...

My dearest was out there, red of face and arm (it was a hot lovey sunny day) bashing away at what looked suspiciously like our slide - which I am sure shouldn't be bashed. Anyway, feeling somewhat guilty at forgetting him out there all on his lonesome, we went out to play... He didn’t want anybody to come play - he wanted SLAVES. So we submitted and eventually, just before the sun went down, it was up, and it was bed time, and the poor peeps who had been waiting all day had to wait another night before they could get on it and play properly. Dave was a little creaky, and cranky come to think of it the next day, and I am now trying to convince him that this weekend *we* should get the other swing set up.

For some reason he seems to be a little reluctant, and made the ridiculous excuse that he had to go out today to get the tires changed (winter to summer tires) and he was gone for 4 hours... hurumph...

Perhaps tomorrow eh :-)

I am going to try out the Sunday school attached to noodles new primary school tomorrow with the peeps, and I'm hoping it will be great!

Dave's redness is much much better, though I still get the odd queer look from him when I suggest enjoying the garden....

Will My Kids be kidnapped?

2007-01-14T20:07:00.004-08:00

on the 15th - the day after I posted this post - a known paedophile who preys on little girls was let loose in the city we live in after serving 9 years. It is 'a matter of time until he' ...strikes again, but the law says he has served his time? Really? I wonder how the judge or jury would feel if it was their little daughter or granddaughter next eh...? Suddenly things become 'personal' pretty fast when that happens and occassionally justice, instead of the 'law' is applied with the victims and not the perpetrator coming first - the 'laws' on the imprisonment of paedophiles should be reviewed, and soon - thats mho anyway...<./ed>

\Will my kids be kidnapped?
...the worst fear of any parent....
...... Could my kids be kidnapped... Might my kids be kidnapped... How can I stop it... Can I? Why?

Well the latter is usally pretty easy to answer - there are alot of damaged people out there. It is very easy to judge a 'kidnapper' if you aren't one and came from a healthy family environment. Even most people who had a *bad* childhood, will work out to be relatively normal people, but there are many who won't... even many who did have a home life we can understand as *civilised* people.

Think of the atrocities of the second world war in Germany... everyone - literally - was terrified. there were Jews turning Jews in - their father/husband/child's life was on the line and they had to provide a 'quota' of other Jews to be picked up or they were taken, with their family. The whole country was ruled quite simply by fear. And for 7 years it 'worked' for the 'cleansers' or Nazis... until the allies won. Thank God. But there has never been an explanation for the allowance of terror on that scale. and it may happen again - it wasn't that long ago.

Many people are in that frame of fear, with 'needs' we can't understand - and really have no desire to understand. What happened with Shawn Hornbeck? His parents seemed to be (As a mom I am going to say WERE) devastated when he disappeared 5 years ago - to the extent that they both chucked their jobs and started a foundation (GOOD FOR YOU). I can't for a moment believe that he was either an abused child or a denied child. So what did this man have that made him so appealing to this youngster? (But even with the return of Shawn... he's been gone from his folks for a third of his life - what did this man turn him into? tell him? educate him to be?) That must be terrifying for his parents...Who will love him regardless, because that is what we do... Thank God he was returned - many haven't been... It a great foundation.

There are questions that need to be answered but never will be... in the same vein, two 10 year olds stopped at their teachers house in the UK 6 years ago, and were both murdered by her boyfriend, the garden caretaker for the local college... why? No real answers...

These are more local incidents and don't touch on the awful reality of child pornography, and the sex slave trade - all of which are frighteningly real...

So what do you do? The answer is simply - the best you can. Warn them, speak to them at age appropriate level... never go into strange houses, never speak to strangers, never take food from srangers, etc etc... modified to suit the age group..

I am in my early 30's, my mom spoke to me on the phone the other day and warned me - married with three kids, but concerned... many of you will know of the organ transplant scheme that has been going on in SA and Australia and possibly the US for the past 10 years... apart from date rape drugs popped into unwitting drinks by personable good looking strangers, there is the added possibility that the drugged person may be operated on and have their liver/kidney removed..

The first case I am aware of (and this if from memory) was in around 1995, a chap in Australia woke up in a bath of ice after a night out with a heater in the room near his hands with the note on the mirror and a cell phone (new) next to him telling him to call the ambulance services as his liver had been removed for sale and he better not move or he would die. .. the mind boggles at this kind of crime... they didn't want to kill him, but left him without a liver in a bath in the hope that he would wake up and make the call... the operation of removal was done my a highly able surgeon...

Many young men and women (14-+) are captured in the same drug manufactured way even if they have never taken drugs by a mickey finn - someone can slip a drug into a glass of Coke or Water... the drugs apparently don't have a significant taste, and they are just as deadly in any form... date rape is becoming serious.... look at googles results for the term 'date rape'... most of the results contain the word 'drugs'.

For parent of younger children, attempt to avoid kidnapping and disappearance in three easy steps:

1) offer your children respect, responsibility and trust from an early age and discipline them accordingly;

2) provide them with continuous guidance on what to do with strangers, unusual scenarios and give them a game plan to utilise.. e.g. tell your child you will always get him/her from school, and if you can't you will call the school and speak to them personally with instructions (most schools are very amenable to this), or if you can't speak to them directly, tell the child you will pass a coded message to them... i.e. 'Mom can't get you honey, but Mr Richards (you know him - he's xxxx) will bring you home, and you need to get some OJ from the shops and say Hi to Mrs Freeman'

3) Keep in touch with what is going on in the world and make sure your child is ready for any eventuality, and that your child knows what your reaction to it would be... even if they have a faint idea, they are pretty perceptive, and as they get older, the chances are the will distinguish truth from fiction.

4) Trust in the Lord and Pray for His guidance in how you bring up yourt kids, how you communicate with them and how you disipline them.

A Word from God: Matthew 18:1-6
At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them,
And said,

Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me.But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and [that] he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

Wow... Sorry...

2007-01-14T19:22:00.000-08:00

Ok, so AGES since my last blog....

The new house is GREAT! We had an abortive attempt at a house warming party. I guess you need to live in a country more than 4 months before you think you're the new entertainment ;-)... Anyway, Dave and I weren't too phased as we have alot of fun together any time!

Since then we have built the first snowman for the kids, and we took them skiing for the first time on the 1st 1st 2007 - won't forget the date or the experience! Nathan took to the slopes like a wannabe pro - all of 5 years old and he was up and down without poles, a few spills, but loved it, and can turn, stop and ... well quite alot more than his mom and dad could manage the first time around, though I did manage to keep Dave off the ground, and ski with the twins (one at a time) in a spastic kind of snowplow a few times - which thrilled them and me until I got turned around on the magic carpet, lost my glove, crossed my skiis, and stood on both the kids... very hard to explain... and I will once again (and forever more) thank the wonderful staff at the COP for their attention to minor details such as panicking parents and somewhat miffed 3 year olds...

Meanwhile, Nathan came flying past a few times and Dave staggered past once, sorta wobbly skiied past the next time, and now he's on the *big* slopes, still sance poles and doing really well.. For a less-than-4-hours-skiier, I'm really impressed with my hubby. :-)

We had a HUGE windstorm the other night. The kids slept through like the babies they are. Their mother quivered and whimpered under the blankies making desperate plans as to the best way to get them out when the roof fell in and the walls collapsed to minimise exposure - it was minus 39' - the cracker for me was when one of the blasted balcony chairs went skedaddle against the balcony itself - the crash was almost enough for me to literally drag the twins downstairs into the basement to the darkest deepest corner shrieking at Dave to follow with Nathan before we were all sucked out... needless to say I didn't , the house is fine, the kids are perfect, and I am nervously awaiting the next storm.

Apparently big winds around here are pretty normal, but you know, they are in the UK too. The difference is that there the houses are made of stones, bricks, mortar - you know the solid stuff... here they are made of cardboard... I'm serious... we had to get special wall plugs to put up our big mirror - all 9 kg of it... and yet everyone tells me to stop being a sissy... yah... until my flipping roof blows off in 70km winds with 3 little people in jimmie-jammies and a wind chill factor of minus 50... (I'm building up my version of FFEEAR - ...........Fast Family Evacuation Escape and Run) - ahah! the first Laura-ism :-))

Otherwise work is good. I was threatened with a trip to Chicago, but got hit with seriously nasty bout of flu and missed it. Then a trip to San Antonia was dangled, and I think I missed out... dagnabbit...

ANYHOO, the kids and I are of for 3 weeks with granny soon for my grannys 100th b'day. I'll miss work, (really actually like my job - that's gotta be a first), and mostly Dave, and we'll have a good time!

Hope your festive seasn was cheery and great and filled with family and love!

hey to Jane and mike -it was SUPER great to see you all!

tip of the day: - keep a fire extinguisher on each floor and check it works at least once every 3 months - this can be fun if you allow the children to participate. Otherwise it is highly stressfu, or highly secretive, as you are doing it in the dark and trying to be quiet... which as we found is quite simply not possible no matter how much you tell the fire thingey to SSSSSHHHHHT. *sigh*

And on a serious but I feel related note.

By God's good Grace: Matt 8:23-27
Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. 24 Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. 25 The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” 26 He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. 27 The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!

Kids Grow Up So Fast !

2006-10-23T06:57:00.001-07:00

Right, so I’ve been packing away some of the small people’s clothes AGAIN. It seems like just yesterday the newborn baby grow was too big for Nathan, and now he’s into his next set of clothes and as tall as my chest. The twins are also really big for 3, and are usually mistaken for 5 year olds.

I’ve actually given up buying them clothes that fit them when we’re in the shop, because by the time we get out to the car they’re too small. So I buy at least one size up and think about next year too.

Hence Joshua’s winter jacket hides his little handies unless I roll the sleeves up, and Abby is like a big poofy ball – all soft and round, and very unwieldy. She can barely move and picking her up is like picking up a very light, soft, snuggly, floppy sack of potatoes. But they are so cute.

The picture of all 3 of them in their huge big winter jackets, woolly hats, hoods, gloves, mittens, scarves, winter boots – they’re 3 small arctic explorers, or for those of you who know the Michelin man – 3 mini versions. One pink and the other 2 black and white with a dash of red and blue.

There is a point here.. what was it… ah yes.

If you have small people (especially multiple small people like us) and if you are not Rockefeller (which we are not) and if your little angels seem to grow surreptitiously every time you so much as look away for a SECOND, then a few pointers to save your budget:

1. forget about designer clothes while they are small
- they will get ripped, they will be given away in a moment of fierce friendship at the day care, they will be spilled on, sicked on (occasionally), stained, crumpled up and tossed under the bed (hence lost for at least a month – by which time they no longer fit)

2. Buy decent second-hand from the day care of other charity chops whenever you can.
- they look new, they feel new, they smell new – so lose the pride thing and save like 75% on your clothes purchases – which incidentally is also serving to help charity – me I prefer if possible to support our day care or our church drives, otherwise I try to buy at the less well known charities

3. Buy from the superstores
- I got
3 winter jacket
3 pairs of gloves,
3 pairs of mittens,
3 little wooly hats and
3 gorgeous pairs of warm snow boots (1x princess pair, 1x sponge bob,1x Speed McQueen) - and some superman underpants and Barbie socks for good measure
2 scarves (Abby didn’t want)
1 pink fluffy purse (the boys didn’t want)
under
$200 Canadian ($180 USD; £90 GBP)

from Walmart and the Real Canadian Superstore.

So the stuff won’t last a life-time – why should it? The kids will have outgrown it by the end of next winter (if I’m lucky and thy don’t outgrow them before then!)

4. When you’re done, give it to your church or a charity or someone who needs them
There are loads of others who need what you no longer do. And try not to hoard. It’s hard, I know – but I am trying to keep only the real heart wrenchers… sigh – I have a cupboard full of heart wrenchers so I guess its time to do a little more pruning myself!

5. Have a great day moms and dads and may the Lord Make his face to shine upon you!

What to check when buying a new house.

2006-10-06T21:59:00.000-07:00

Are there cell phone towers / TV / radio etc

Is the house near an existing or old nuclear waste dump

Is the house near an existing or old trash waste dump / fill site / toxic waste dump

Is it a septic tank system. If so when last was it cleaned out and will it be cleaned out with appropriate certification delivered to you?

Any termite or bug activity in the house or grounds – is a certificate of fumigation provided to ensure no such contamination.

get a house valuation from a bank before you buy
.
What are the negatives in the house; in the roof, foundation, etc

Make sure you check what works and what does not; what leaks and what does not; check especially the furnaces and air ducts – ensure you get certification of last service and any flaws in the system.

Whatis in affective proximity: a pig farm, an airport, a dump, a new highway to be built etc

Are there any religious Muslim mosques etc near by - in which case you will have the 3 times pre day loud hailer calling all to worship - if you're not devout Muslim that is classed as noise pollution but cannot be legally contested.

What is the foundation built on? In Winnipeg USA they found that the basements had been dug into rock that was radioactive and that caused cancer over the long term.

What is the building material in the home. If there is any asbestos insulation or other application be aware that it is highly dangerous.

Any electric pylons there not or projected for installation.

Query any future development around you – what is in the pipeline?

What is the access like in winter – any problem areas there.

Is there a borehole for water? Does it have afiltration systme, when was it checked etc.

Where does your water, electricity and sewage come from

TV, cable, satelite, highspeed connection etc possibilities

Do you have gas for anything. If so, have all the appliances and conduits been checked for leaks.

If there is a lake somewhere near you, who maintains it for quality of water and control of mosquitoes etc. (Nile Fever is mosquito borne)

What happens to your garbage

and all thanks for this to MY great MOM!!!!... or granny as I'll call her!

ok - so I AM still here...:-)

2006-10-06T21:44:00.000-07:00

Busy week - mortgage was approved, require house inspection, kids stuff and meetings, my 90 day review at work - YAY I'm premanent and going forward! Dave waiting for his senior status review, moving my day preparations and all the account changing and what not - anyone want a bit on 'How to Make a Successful move?' done it so many times now it's like second nature! Chatting to my lovely mum so far away... missing her.

You know, the usual, but all is well and I did find out about a great Christian info web site which I am delighted to share!

Am thinking I will pop in some info on potty training next along with twin separation - yes or no accoridng to development.

Bear with me.

Have a blessed Thanks Giving all you great Canadians!

Husband and Wife - finding the right mix

2006-09-29T19:25:00.000-07:00

I first met Dave at 17 just as I was starting university while I was working as a waitress in Cape Town. I found out later that he thought I was his dream woman – but he was so busy dating and having fun, and thinking (knowing) I was very innocent, and 8 years my senior, that at that stage he thought it best to leave it.

5 years later I met him by chance at a little obscure bar in Cape Town. He remembered me, I didn’t know who he was, except that he was gorgeous!

He obviously convinced me of something because we moved in together the next day, and we’ve been together for 10 years now.

In those 10 years we have moved 11 times, 3 times in Cape Town, once to Durban, then internationally to the UK where we moved 4 times and had 3 kids, then again internationally to Canada, where we are now moving again to our own house.. YAY!!

God is giving us a house – no more renting, and half the deposit down thanks to what I trust is His will. My dad is moving into the walkout basement with us and put up half the sale price, and the kids are delighted, and we are hoping granny will join us very soon.

We work it like this:
God
Understanding His place as the mainstay of our lives and trusting Him in everything

Communication
Making sure we understand each other, and not contradicting each other in public or in front of the kids

Support
Supporting each other in all things and through prayer, and never maligning each other to work mates, colleagues or friends, but rather boosting each other. It has a knock on effect which is great.

Loving
‘Good morning!’ and ‘how are you’ and ‘how was your day?’ hugs and kisses work wonders.

Listening
Actually listening and hearing what the other has to say without a ready made answer in place.

Doing Stuff
Doing our stuff together when the kids are down, and doing kid stuff together on the weekends, with church on Saturday nights.

Sharing
Passing along insights – biblical or just daily – and chatting about them.

Avoiding defence and attack mode
Very tricky sometimes – so we take a ‘time-out’ if we need to gather our thoughts and the communicate our feelings.

This is working so far. We have our ups and downs, but we are best friends, and God willing, that will last for many, many years!

Husbands read this: The The Husband's Responsibility
Wives and mothers read this and the bottom links Roles of the Husband and Wife (hubbies too if you will!)

Kids exposure to TV and the Internet

2006-09-20T22:36:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess Dave and I are pretty ‘conservative’ in what we let them watch…Bear in mind we’re Christian parents who actually try to practice the Word, so you know we don’t let them watch the ‘Halloween’, ‘Ghost’, ‘Witchcraft’ shows on even the popular shows like the Backyardigans and the Wiggels or Dora, all of which I think are in general great innocent ‘educational’ entertainment for under 5s.

No TV? Probably the best way to go if you have things for them to do and the support to give them which I didn’t, or being a non-pioneer and raised as a member of generation X didn’t realize I needed to tap into until too late. And while its not too late now, I apply our attitude now…

Anyway – little kids realize a lot more than they are given credit for (my opinion). I remember when Nathan was 5 months old he suddenly started sleeping badly and had ‘bad dreams’. I couldn’t figure it out until my mom said to me; ‘Did you watch the Twin tower bombings and the aftermath?’…

I felt dreadful… trying to shield my child from the world, I had totally forgotten that day when I had accidentally switched the TV to Sky news and watched the whole thing unfolding live – with my baby Nathan on his blankie on the floor with his little eyes watching the horror of exploding buildings and people screaming and stressing on TV.

My thoughts for this blog are what I do usually. Little kid programs. Not Spiderman movies or Superman movies or whatever, but the animation of Moses, and stories of how and why Jesus died. He is so much stronger than pretend Super Hero’s.

Why is it so hard to explain that… it isn’t really if you try.. raising little children from death, healing people with horrid diseases, making sure mom’s and dad’s had food everyday when there was none… the Bible is full of amazing stuff – none more than the fact that Our Super Hero Son of God! Died…

A terrible death, in our place, as our sacrifice for ourselves for the sin we commit until we turn to Him… WOW!!! Pretty strong stuff for big people, and its great for the little guys too! And they understand it more than we do…

You know, I think my kids are OK by the Grace of God, and we have to deal with other kids at the day care stories about what they watched on TV – I mean Buffy the Vampire Slater re-runs for 5 year olds??? Get a grip people…

And so we are ourselves and chat about what they chatted with their friends about as I am paying for THREE day care places at a whacking great amount a month I get some say in what videos are shown after school and am starting to supply my own, like Moses, and the Rescuers and INNOCENT stuff for innocent KIDS.

SO watch what your kids watch, preferably in the case of movies BEFORE they do and make sure its OK.

Little minds are like very superior computers.. what they take in they will process and keep. YOU are a small part of their filing system admin. Don’t let stuff in to them while you can that will harm them…and THINK people…when YOU were 3 or 4 or 5, how would YOU have dealt with the scary stuff on TV and in the big screen movies… no seriously.. you remember that crap that frightened you? Well that was way less hectic and realistic as THIS stuff….

What do you want YOUR kid to dream about at night and remember as a terror when he or she gets older, and how can you Prevent it… Be responsible…

And God bless…

Breastfeeding Tips

2006-09-19T13:18:00.000-07:00

I loved breastfeeding. I fed Nathan, and I fed the babies.

In fact the nurses at Colchester hospital were amazed that I chose to feed them myself. What great nurses they were, even in that dreaful heat wave in August 2003, they were great. Someone even stole a fan for me from somewhere becasue Josh got heat rash - poor lil' guy.

Anyway, as I said, I loved breastfeeding, but it's not always easy to get started, and then its not so easy to keep going... and THEN it becomes a pleasure.

First, once you have made the decision to breastfeed (and I stand by breast-is-best), you may need to get some help initially to get your little one to attach himself or herself right. In most cases they get it right pretty quickly. Sometimes they need a bit of persuasion. Ask the mid-wife or nurse for help in getting both of you (you and your new little person) into action.

It is a get way to just snuggle and get loads of precious moments with your baby. So buy yourself at least 3 feeding bras, and a feeding nightie and shirts - or a few shirts with buttons you can undo and do up easily with one hand.

Second, just after you have mastered breastfeeding, you are going to wish you hadn;t because your nipples are going to get very sore. They will probably crack, and they may very well bleed. I had a friend who (bless her) gritted her way through a very painful brestfeeding adjustment, during which time her little one finished a good suck and promptly threw up blood everywhere - not the babies - though my friend had a few DREADFUL moments - hers.

What can you do about it? Very little, actually just expelling and rubbing a little breastmilk on the nipples is the best thing for them. But it may take up to 2 weeks of pretty white-knuckle feeds (which you may come to dread, and if you're like me, you will cry).

BUT after that, breastfeeding is an absolute joy. I am SO glad I stuck with it. You know when I had Nathan I remember thinking in between pushes that if I chewed my arm off it would be less painful. Breastfeeding is also pretty harsh new mums to be, but the end result is almost as great.

Oh, and for a mini-rant... OK, yes I agree with being disctrete about breastfeeding in public, but if anyone had ever told me NOT to breastfeed in public I would have bopped them one... well no I wouldn't but GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. There are very few things as natural in this world as breastfeeding your child.

And enjoy it.

Third, I loved breastfeeding all 3 of them. Nathan weened himself at 9 months, and Josh and Abby were goping strong at 2, so I moved them onto bottles, which I have only recently taken them off of (July this year, so one month short of their 3rd birthday). Now weeing is also pretty painful, but for an entriely diffferent reason. Your body hasn;t realised yet that it is requied to produce milk anymore, so your boobs are going to fill up... and fill up, and get lumpy and engorged...so EXPRESS people. You need to express and you need to 'cool' them down. This willmake sense when you get there.

The thing that worked for me, and I tried just about everything I could - I was producing milk for two 2 year olds - I SERIOUSLY need some help, were cold cabbage leaves.

You buy a big cabbage and you keep it in the fridge, and you just pop a cold raw cabbage leaf over your hot, sore boob - Ta-dah! instant relief... though not for too long. So keep replacing the leaves, and try to slow down on the expressing (don't want that bod of yours to think - 'Ahah! Wait! someone DOES want milk!'... and right back into production).

Some people advocate going right from breast to tippee-up cup. Well, mine were used to going to sleep with a suckle, so I decided they were going to be little for only a bit longer, and they could jolly well have a bottle to go sleep with (and as you all know from previous posts, I stay with them until they are asleep) so no dangers there.... Their teeth are fine - not out of place, no fillings, no nothing wrong - so there!

I am going to put in a small disclaimer here. This little blog of mine is a diary-stroke-experience based log of what I did, what worked for me, and in cases where things didn't work, what they were and what I did to change them. I am NOT saying that my way of doing things is right. I am in most cases describing and backing up what I did and do, how, why sometimes, and what the result was... OK? good...

It's a Matter of Trust

2006-09-16T22:13:00.000-07:00

I was outside today and I was wearing Dave’s leather jacket and I happened to realise I had his wallet, and I said outloud ‘oops, beter get this back to him!.

A woman said to me, ‘Your husband trusts you with his WALLET?’

Well you know, that made me think:

- I trust my husband with my LIFE
- I trust my husband with our children's LIVES
- we trust him with our daily livlihood and relationship with God - which sometimes needs work on all fronts, but we're trying

and someone was actually in the position to ask me if he would trust me with his wallet?

Why? It's so sad that so many people in relationships have so little respect for each other. That they down-talk their partner to their friends. That they don't trust them. That they acually look to hollywood stars with multiple past 'babes' or 'guys' as being 'cool'. Values have changed so much, and I blame alot of it on the media's acceptance of the lurid, often perverted, promiscuous and 'tolerant' life-styles of many of the 'rich and famous'..

Well I'm just not that tolerant I guess - and I DO trust my husband, and he trusts me. SO I'm happy, and I can't imagine living in a constant state of doubt - that must be awful....

Pregnancy Joys and Blues

2006-09-16T20:43:00.000-07:00

Nathan was unplanned, and a great joy to us when we found out about the impending birth. For some reason I had though I couldn't have kids - no medical POV, a feeling. I had had an ectopic pregnancy, and almost lost my right tube, and just kind of assumed it would be really hard for me to conceive.. as time would tell I was a tad wrong!

I LOVED being pregnant with Nathan.
No morning sickness, which I have seen in others and is a total nightmare. NO weird pregnancy craving (there are more informative pregnancy craving articles out there, I just find this particularly funny... THOUGH I did have one evening where what I wanted - and incidentally and somewhat embarrassingly in the telling I ate - was canned tuna fish, with pickles, a spoon of bovril, grated cheese and tomato sauce. Dave couldn't come near me for 2 days... not all together a bad thing - I love you honey!)

Then 6 days before he was born I got an Orange craving. I think I must have eaten around 6-7 oranges a day for the last week before he was born. And afterwards, I couldn’t go NEAR an orange for about 14 months - I have always liked oranges.. there you go.. so you know - YOUR cravings are relatively normal in the face of charcoal, laundry detergent, weird fish and pickles and fruit cravings and the like. Your body will tell you what it wants whether you like it or not - just be sensible in how you deal with it. Oh, and folic acid is STILL pretty important so get a supplement if you can.

I carried well, I had him - child birth will be another PAINFUL yet necessary - for me at least ;-) topic.

No worries...

Then I had Abby and Josh. And I am so blessed...

By 3 months I was a big as I ever got with Nathan. Then I just got bigger - and I don't mean fat. I had mild morning sickness - nothing hectic, and actually only in my size 10 pants that I'd slimmed down for the festive season.

In all honesty, I was wearing them and not feeling too great on Dec 25th 2002 at my brother in laws place. On the morning of dec 26th, I couldn't do them up by half an inch... I had gone to bed early, hardly eaten a thing and wondered what it could be.

My infinitely intelligent, empathetic and caring sister in law – Casey - pulled me to one side as I came out of the loo looking a bit green (she has 3 kids herself) and said in a kind/sad/happy/wondering/whatcha-thinking way.. 'You DO know you're pregnant Lau?' ... and suddenly things made sense.

SO we tootled off to the doctor for a check up and ultra-sound, and she stared at the monitor with a very serious face.

.. by this stage we had had 2 ectopics - 1 before Nathan and one after him when I lost my right tube, so I prepared myself for the worst and started getting all teary. Dave was VERY manly and my angel of support and held my hand and stroked my head. He said to her, 'so is this going to require another operation?' and she said, 'please hold on, I will give you my findings in a few minutes.'

I think if Dave had had it in him to wring the truth out of her he would - well he did and does, but I was hanging onto him too tight..

Finally she looked at us, she frowned, and then she said... 'are you prepared for a multiple-birth, you have twins.'

Well Dave sat down. I went totally blank, and then I heard a shaky whisper from Dave, 'I'm here, honey... I just don't know what to do.' If I hadn’t been lying down I may have ended up on the floor - we had seen a woman with twins on our way to the ultrasound and VERY jokingly laughed about how on EARTH people could cope with more than one baby at a time.... ah, well.... there you go - but look what I GOT!!! 2 OF THE MOST PRECIOUS LITTLE THINGS.

... I advance to fast... for those of you expecting small ones in more than a package of one - your hips WILL give out, so if you go shopping or anywhere for prolonged periods, either lean on a trolley or take a walking stick - seriously. You may or may not fit into normal public bathrooms, so start getting used to going to the disabled loos now - you will need them when you are out shopping with twins and you need to do a nappy change and have to take the trolley in with you - which you will.

... expect people to start peering at you and looking at you with alarm as though you are about to pop any minute - you might

-- don't EVER allow yourself to make to mortal error of accidentally dropping your Evian water bottle on the floor at Starbucks, as you WILL panic the patrons - the staff are great

... oh, so much to tell.. ask away in comments and I will be happy to answer, and will add to these posts as I go - if there's interest... of course I will anyway for me and d and the kids - this is like THE easiest way to keep a diary that won’t get flushed down the loo, used as an experiment in pyrotechnics, or just tossed out in the frantic attempt at house cleaning I do - Dave hates it - I keep throwing vital things away... I'm working on it....

Twins - what ticks parents and the small people off

2006-09-16T19:41:00.000-07:00

OK, so mostly the parents get a little upset, but only when they realize, which can up to 2 years...

What am I talking about?
1. the twins birthdays - they get a JOINT birthday card and present

Anyone who has had kids or BEEN a kid should know that YOUR birthday is YOUR birthday. You want your OWN present to play with - especially if sharing is not something you are too keen to do yet, or even understand. Moms and Dads may be prepping separate albums for their little ones - what do you do - cut the card in half? If you had a brother or sister born on the same day a few years older or younger, would YOU want to share your birthday card or present? Would you have the same likes and dislikes and maybe secretly wish for the SAME thing as he or she does... I doubt it.

Twins are TWO SEPARATE INDIVIDUALS, who happen to share a mom and dad and a birthday. Don't diminish their individuality. And make sure your loved ones know this - it is probably something they won't even think about. And if money is an issue, then send 2 nice, DIFFERENT individual hand written cards with tinker toys for each one, but not a joint present - especially not for under... well just never.

2. ALL other festivals where presents are involved - Christmas, Thanksgiving, Family Day, whatever.

As above.

3. Constantly referring to them as 'THE TWINS'

Yes, they have the blessing of having a close sibling who will likely share their lives more than most of us are able to understand - but this is something they may only realise when they are far, far older. Rather call them 'babies', 'kids' or preferably by name. I called my 2 precious additions to the family 'the babies' as I already had my lovely big boy, and it was an easy form of abbreviation when explaining things about the twins to him in our every day chatter. It was Ok too, as lots of his little friends had new, relatively new or just about to be new 'babies' in their lives, but NOBODY had twins.

Calling them the 'twins' can do a number of things to their (the twins) self-perception:
- it can diminish their sense of individuality
- it can make them feel unrecognised
- it can instill a sense of difference to other kids,
... or a sense of superiority
... or a sense of inferiority
- if you have other little kids, it can make these older precious ones feel isolated, less important, they are one, and these have a group name already - a new word, they are the 'twins'. What am I? Am I special?
- if you have other kids AFTER the multiple birth, the twins may feel 'less loved' even more than an older single, it can heighten their sense of difference when you refer to my baby and 'the twins'.. do you see where I'm going?

They're KIDS, and kids take things and interpret them very often in a way that was totally unintended by the perpetrating and relatively innocent adult

My big issue is to limit any complications to the child's perception of his or her own self worth, as well as to limit any sense of isolation or rejection.

God thought for the Day
Ephesians 6:4
You fathers, don't provoke your children to wrath, but nurture them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

While we must teach them what is right from wrong, we must not abuse that position, not must we ignore their reasonable requests.

Listen to your kids. Trust them. Guide them. Let them be who they are within the boundaries you set - which must be reasonable and fair to them too.

If you can manage to guide them in what is right in the eyes of the Lord* and manage your discipline and love and guidance according to his precepts, and ask Him to guide you in all things, and pray for your kids and bless them constantly, and give them to HIM, your kids should end up being great, Godly, righteous, courageous, independent, strong, disciplines and responsible members of today’s rather scary world - which is what they will need to be to survive, and what the world needs to stay sane.

*So what do I believe to be right in the eyes of the Lord:
- Jesus did not come to do away with the Old Testament, He came to fulfill it, but every word written will stand to the end of time

- If you take that in conjunction with what Jesus said about righteous living, and in His sacrifice, in general I believe the answer to this lies in :

1) Following the 10 commandments:
and
2) Following Jesus commands :
Matthew 22:37-40 '37 Jesus said to him, “ ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”

Bed-time blues

2006-09-16T19:05:00.000-07:00

OK - so I made my own bed and now I have to lie in it - I know...

When Nathan was 2, we finally moved him into his own room as I was pregnant with the twins, and assuming (in total and utter blind ignorance) that it would simply be like having 2 little Nathan's I reckoned I could cope with them in the master bedroom with Dave until they were old enough to move out (as in around 4-6 months).

Many of you will rightly disagree with this, but while my little ones are now as well behaved as one could hope for their ages, I was personally never one to 'just let them cry'. I did try it with Nathan, but my heart just broke. I know I am not supposed to over-empathize, or over-relate or whatever they call it, but seriously, I'm the child's mother, and if I don't, who will? And they were very little, and perhaps we did the wrong thing, but apart from long evenings of sitting with them until they go to sleep (most nights around 1-1.5 hours with the little ones now) - Nathan goes to sleep at around 7:30 to 8:00 every night on his own in his own room quite happy.

ANYWAY, its now well after 8 tonight, and Josh is having a good old moan, but for ONCE I told him (after sitting up there for an hour) the he must go sleepie-byes by himself. He is not very happy, but as I type is settling down.

You know, I know that this may not be the ideal bed time 'routine' for kids of 3, but I enjoy sitting with them and writing stories for my little kiddies Christian book (which may actually be finished one day), or reading, or doing SUDOKU (I am a bit addicted I admit). They LOVE me staying with them until they go to sleep too, as I cherished it when I was little. SO you know, while it can be a pain in the proverbial sometimes, most of the time it is just a special quiet time for me and the small people, so its not such a bad bed to lie in after all. remember moms and dads, they grow up very fast. You will NEVER have this time with them again, this special nurturing time when they both need and WANT you to be there with them. Don't lose sight of that, even when things really get your dander up and you think... OH FOR ONE NIGHT TO MYSELF...because before you know it, you'll have all your night back, and you'll miss them, and worry about them and for them, and you'll wish they were back in their rooms snug and safe in your care upstairs... or I know I will, and it terrifies me, but they have to be their own people, and as much as I can I will support them, guide them and push them just a little when they need it, not because I want to - but because it is vital for their growth, and I love them more than I could ever express. You know the feeling.

Back to bedtimes and the LIGHTER side of it from my point of view...

Nathan (my big darling first born) decided (just before his 5th birthday) that he wanted to go to sleep in his own room and on his own terms, so we agreed - within reason - and empowered him to be responsible - within reason. SO after story time, song time and prayers, I sit with the babies, and give Nathie a big hug and kiss, and he takes himself off to his room. He has his own bedside light, and some of his toys and books, and he chooses whether to draw, try writing a message, playing with his toys (what an imagination!), reading/looking at his knowledge books or whatever until he switches off his light by himself (at around 8:00), or if he doesn’t, he gets a reminder from mom in the next room "light's out Nathie, bed time!". And you know, he may be reluctant, but he listens. He is a dear, intelligent little boy, and I love him dearly. Though most nights still he will creep into the master bed and snuggle up with a happy little sigh, and not know how he got there in the morning. but waking up to a loving cheery little 'Hi dad and mom! Wake up, it's gonna be a beeaaauuuutiful day!' is just so worth it!

AND I AM SOOO HOPING that the babies will get here soon. Well, I guess they're not babies any more, but we still call them the babies - which may be part of the problem. So I need to let go. But the cute - and possibly limiting challenge - is that ever since they were born we have called them the 'babies' - never the 'twins' as I didn't want Nathan to feel 'out of the loop', and bless him, when he wants them to play with him or has something to show them, he yells at the top of his little lungs 'Oh baaaabies! Come see what I have for YOU!'

And getting Nathan to stop calling them 'the babies' may be even more tricky than getting ME to stop... we'll see how we do eh?!

YOu know, that 'twins' thing has just brought something to mind, so I am going to start another little gem of possibly useless information to mist but maybe of use to a few expecting 2 or more in one go! (For those of you expecting triplets or more, make sure you arrange for as much support as you can before the birth, and don’t necessarily worry about getting everything new, most charity shops have GREAT stuff, that has been cared for and is clean and good quality. I had to leave a lot of my cherished twin and baby stuff in the UK for this move to Canada - a double twin pram, 3 single prams, Moses baskets, a twin moses basket, sheets, bedding, baby grows.. I kept my favourites, which were a bit holey in some cases, but just so full of memories...)

If you are struggling to find support, there are great organisations out there including TAMBA - while this Twins and Multiple Birth Association (offering advice, charitable donations etc) is in the UK, I'm sure they could point you in the direction of one in your country, or indeed possibly even be of some assistance? No harm in contacting them. Also, even if you are NOT Christian, approach your local churches, and you may be amazed at the help and support you will get. Its your choice - but don't be stupid about where you get help from at this stage - if you DON'T have it, your ARE going to have a very very very tough time.

Moms at work

2006-09-15T12:00:00.001-07:00

You know, you get home in the evening after a day at work, you've picked up the kids, cleaned the house, fed the dog, cooked dinner, put on a load of laundry, fed the kids, washed the dishes, chased them upstairs for a bath, done the bath thing, cleaned up the water-logged bathroom floor, told someone for the 400th time that he or she must go pee BEFORE he or she gets in the bath, got them all in their jimmy-jams, onto the story blanket, read the story, the bible story, sung the kiddie bible songs, said a prayer, manged to tuck them all into bed (at least twice each), let Abby go for her ritual-after-in-bed-everynight 'I Have to go again mommy', and flopped exhaused onto the giant teddy with one leg propped on one bed (so he/she can cuddle, and one arm on the other bed (so he / she can cuddle) shouted one last 'I love you honey' to Nathan (big boy in his own room now! - well for about 2 hours until he creeps into our bed...)...

and - i just want them to go to sleep...
and then they do... and I miss them and wish they were awake....

Then I get up, get all 3 dressed, downstairs, make the oats (or oatsie-poatsies as we say in our little world), let the dog out for a wee, have juice, go upstairs and get a fresh jumpr/pants/outfit for one 2 or 3 small people - try to remember to put on a load of laundry (or it piles up terrifyingly fast), let the dog back in, close all the bedroom doors so she doesn't get on the beds (the dog), take out the garbage so she doesn;t rip the bag apart and strew rubbish all opver the house (the dog), wash the breakfast dishes, get the kids coats and shoes on, find the car keys, go out to the car, go back into the house and get dressed out of my jimmie-jams into appropriate work clothes and lose the slippers, go back to the car, go back to the house and fetch the kids, get everybody in their seat belts, answer 50 thousand questions, put on the armour of God - take all 3 into day care - sign them in, rush back to the car to go to work - happy for me time...

....get to work, see their precious little faces in the gorgeous day-care made photos in broken polystyrene egg box photo frames with sticky shells stuck on, and my heart melts and I miss them....

Last post for today...

2006-09-14T20:39:00.000-07:00

I reckon I've done quite well!

So far today, Dave has had a great day at work and he might be off to New York soon!

We have just cleared a big horrid debt - or we think we have - waiting to hear that the check has been received so we can start saving for a house in our new home of Canada!!!

I love my job, but it can be a bit mind numbing sometimes waiting for client approval - I must say I like my clients though.

The little ones love day-care and did such cute crafts today. i got a very professional spider web drawing with a daddy spider, a big brother spider, and a mommy spider in the middle of the web with baby eggs!

Abby did a cotton wool stick on puppy which she is VERY proud of, and Josh has a brand new special stone. I'm wondering if my dad's geological gene's have not been passed to Josh who LOVES gravel, sand, stones, and shiny rocks - and will spend AGES finding them, polishing them and protectively hoarding them. .. which send Abby and Nathan into a frenzy at bedtime of finding their OWN rock, ordinary stone, river polished stone (of wich we have a bunch thanks to a clever and intuitive granny) to pop under their pillow for safe keeping for the night... yes we have teddys, but shiny special rocks and shells seem to take preference...

And my God thought for the day is this: CHILD DISCIPLINE

Proverbs 13:24
One who spares the rod hates his son, but one who loves him is careful to discipline him.

OK, so this doesn;t mean beat your children, it means DISCIPLINE them when they do something wrong or they will believe they can do what they like when they like and how they like.

HOW?
- show your displeasure in the tone of your voice

- tell them you will take them away from where they are or want to go IMMEDIATELY if they don't stop

- follow through (I have left a supermarket trolley full of food with all three kids to go back to the car to have a chat with one to enforce what I say

- follow further if required with a relevant 'punishment' - as immediate as you can make it. If they are used to a treat after the shop - no treat.

- if they misbehave at home, a sit down time-out while you carry on with normal routine which may mean No Story, No Lullaby, No desert etc

- while they are little, 'learning punishments' / lessons need to be fast activated or they miss the meaning, they need to be very applicable, and they need to be more a deprivation than a physical punishment... I know this sounds like Pavlov's formula (yes I HAVE studied Psych - along with a few other subjects...), but it has worked for me - as long as I have kept it relevant..

I am NOT saying that a solid flick on the hand, or flat hand on the bum may not be just what is needed at times. And I DO believe that trying to explain all things always is important, but sometimes little ones just want their own way , and you need to deal with it - it's your JOB mom and dad. If you don't teach them what's acceptable and what's not - who will?

I AM SAYING THAT YOU NEVER, EVER:- smack a child anywhere on his or her body or face
- smack to bruise or cause welts or bruises
- smack for fun
- smack in a temper

A very mild smack that does not mark or actually physically hurt a child will affect them if it is administered sparingly, and if it known that such a 'punishment' is as a result of 'disappointing you' or being in your 'bad books' - remember they are YOUR little people. YOU are their HERO. They crave, need and thrive on your love, affection and approval. You don't have to hurt or damage them to show your displeasure.

And you need to always show your pleasure and approval - whenever it is warranted, and don't set the boundaries too high - they're little... everything they do they think is both great and important. Support them whenever you can. TELL them you love them, appreciate them, think they are special.. you know, sometimes even let them know that you need them too - start instilling a sense of responsibility early - not a guilt complex, a loving and respectful understanding of YOU.. and if you are WRONG, for goodness sake, tell them you're sorry.

.. And if you ask for guidance from the Holy Spirit, read up on what the Bible has to say (Proverbs), and LISTEN to Him - you wont go far wrong...

Well these are all MY thoughts. I am not a child psychologist. I am not an abusive parent. My kids love me and I love them. I have apparently, according TO child experts, extremely well adapted and happy, loved and loving children. I lose my temper with 3 kids 5 and under sometimes and have to count mickey-mouse and hum 'Jesus Loves Me' to settle - which I do, but I am kind of expecting a ranting few comments if this page is ever indexed... I will endeavour with the grace of God to answer as honestly and as truthfully as I can any such comment, but I stand by what I say.

Expecting a baby? What I wish I'd known - for my preggie best friend...

2006-09-14T19:18:00.000-07:00

... I'm so sorry I missed the baby shower....

Anyway... down to business

Right. DON'T panic. And don't take everything I say as 'THE WAY IT HAS TO BE DONE' - and yes, you will get your figure back - though mine seems to fluctuate alarmingly these days.

First, whether you are excited, worried, petrified, concerned, happy, lonely, wealthy or scraping by - you CAN & you WILL be a GREAT mom. Just take it day by day.

Every baby is different - from the minute he or she is born. I'll use the twins as an example. Josh when he arrived was the gentlest little chap. He would suckle for ages and fall asleep half way, wake up, have another suck and go back to sleep. Abby, well it was like having a vacuum attached. She would suck as hard and fast as she could, and fall asleep immediately with a 'I'm done now, leave me in peace' kind of expression. And the difference carries through to every facet of their lives. SO if anyone ever tells you exactly what to do for YOUR baby, take it with a pinch of salt. You will find out more about what your baby needs from you in the first few weeks of his or her life than any book can ever tell you - and lots of them are rubbish.

I'm not telling you not to be prepared, informed and as confident as you can be, I'm saying take it easy and let your body and your intelligence and your own natural mother instinct guide you.

What I suggest you buy for your baby - bare essentials for the first 3 months
- Moses basket

- fitted moses basket sheets (at least 2)

- light wool blankets, little ones

- lots of newborn nappies and a few premie (premature ones) as even normal weight babies can be pretty teeny

- if you are breastfeeding, the BEST thing for those nipples which are going to be more sore than you can imagine after the first 2-3 days for at least a week or 2 is breast-milk. Don't buy oils or creams - taints the taste of the milk (as do a few foods like asparagus etc - another post) and can be harmful to little ones

- warm baby-grows and summer baby grows - regardless of the weather. Have a selection.

- bum cream for nappy rash

- pacifiers (dummy's) JUST IN CASE. I couldn't have coped without them for Nathan - but didn't need them for the twins. GREAT brand of dummies/pacifiers are NUK

- for trapped air / colic in the UK there is an amazing product that saved my sanity called Infacol - worked like a charm.

- baby body cream - you know, the more natural the better. Something non-scented and non-coloured. I used aqueous. Both on them and on me. (Oh by the way, make sure you put cream on your breasts and tummy and actually everywhere while you are carrying to avoid stretchmarks. I have 3 tiny stretch marks after carrying Nathan and the twins).

- if you are NOT breastfeeding (and I stand by 'breast is best'), then explore all the options for formula thoroughly. I favoured Farleys, but check out SME, Cow and Gate, Nestle and as many as you can and decide on what works best for you.

- feeding bottles (I loved Avent)

- a steriliser for bottles and pacifiers

- plain, white, natural soap for bath and hair is enough, just keep EVERYTHING moisturised

- changing mat

- bath sponge (we bought a baby bath - Nathan screamed the first time we tried it, and we ended up using it as a wood carrier from then on and bathed him in a few inches of lovely warm water in the main bath on his sponge, and the twins too, and they LOVED bath time - still do)

- cotton wool balls and a little plastic bowl (for cleaning poos) - I moved onto scent free baby wipes with the twins as nathan was still in nappies / diapers and I couldn't manage multiple baby poos (at least 3-6 a day each) and Nathans daily delivery with cotton wool balls.. they suffered no ill side effects.

NOW SERIOUSLY MOM'S TO BE, your newborn can't see too well further than an arms length away - just enough to focus on YOUR face - God planned it perfectly, he or she can't clasp or hold anything, can't stay awake too long, and what they need most is YOU.

...be you, be gentle, be loving, be the mom you wish you had, and just go with it. Get LOTS of sleep WHENEVER you can. Sleeping when baby does is a great idea if your circumstances allow because sleeping patterns are as follows (well mine were)
- first 2-3 weeks - feed every 2-3 hours
- 4-8 weeks - feed every four hours
- 8 weeks on I started trying to schedule

WHY DIDN'T I SCHEDULE EARLIER? Ok, with one - that's possible, but for 3 weeks with twins on their independant feed and sleep timetables, I was pretty zoned. Give me a break ;-)

What I suggest you DON'T buy for your baby:
- pillows

- duvets

- teddys to sleep with (all 3 above = possible suffocation)

- bright wall colourings (too much stimulation and even less sleep and not good for small brains - my opinion)

- too many 'cleaning products' - which can exacerbate baby eczema and dry skin and cause allergies - or so I was told... danged if I can find the source now though... any help?

I'll add to this as I think of stuff or am reminded....

HOW TO PUT YOUR BABY TO SLEEP:
Right, this is a bit of a contentious issue. For thousands of years moms have slept with their babies, and not 'squashed them' - I did with the twins out of desperation, though in fear of what I had been told I DIDN'T with Nathan. What I did instead was sleep with his moses basket on the bed. Or on its stand right next to the bed at night, and with him on me during the day.

However, very salient and I believe 'POINTS TO FOLLOW ABSOLUTELY' include the following:
- don't cover baby with a heavy blanket or a duvet

- don't let baby sleep with a pillow or fluffy toys or his/her bottle

- do put baby to sleep at the BOTTOM of his or her moses basket - feeties touching the bottom

- don't smoke around baby or within an hour before going near baby - so seriously you know - give it up, at least while you're pregnant and your little one is tiny if you can't do the long haul

- don't close the door on baby without a baby monitor cranked up high (we NEVER closed the door)

- get rid of your cat/s (sorry cat lovers, but if your cat gets in the room and decides to curl up on baby, baby dies. Cat litter boxes are also very dangerous to toddlers)

Right: Clarfication points and one BIG tip:
clarification point - sterilisers
DON'T OVER STERILISE. Your little one has to develop an immune system. Be sensible, be careful and be cautious, but don't be paranoid. Your kid is going to crawl around on the floor and pop all kinds of things into his or her mouth for at least 2 years. If a dummy or bottle falls on the floor in your house and you feel it is relatively safe, then give it a suck yourself and give it back.. if you have twins or triplets you'll understand. If its your first you will shrink in horror - as I would have oif it had been Nathan... Just my opinion with some experience.

And I can mention aforesaid and current best friend here in context! I was visting my beautiful childhood home when I got together with her, and we were at a friend of her's. Nathan decided to pick something up off the floor (he was 13 months at the time - walking and trying to be very independant...) and stick it in his mouth. I didn't see or know what it was, and couldn't tell what it was by the time he got to me, so I grabbed it and stuck it in my mouth to make sure it wasn't some melted pill or bad thing... heaven knows what went through my head as it was all goopy... it turned out to be bird s**t, and my friend almost threw up...I am SOO interetsed in how she will deal with things as she is far more outdoorsey than me, and so is her little one likely to be -his or her dad-to be is pretty great too...

BIG TIP
If you don't have leather couches / setees / whatever you want to call them and you can afford to buy them, DO IT. You will NOT be able to protect agains all vomit, pee accidents, poop accidents, drool, food splatters, milk splatters and worse as they grow into toddler years, and alot of it can amazingly get through - and stain - the most colourful throws. I reckon our leather lounge suite has... well suffice it to say I should probably have paid at least 4 times what we did in terms of what it has saved us....

For moms everywhere - I hope!

2006-09-14T18:55:00.000-07:00

Well, now I've done it... I've been meaning to start a blog for ages. This better be good you're thinking - yeah me too.

I'm hoping to blog about stuff for expectant moms, kiddie crafts (here's Christian crafts too), bedtime, quick healthy food options, discipline, dealing with sick kids and other stuff I've picked up - mostly the hard way!... that's apart from everyday joys, catastrophes, broken heirlooms and day care paraphernalia!

So who am I? Well, I'm a mom of 3. Nathan is my 5 year old boy - and my little gentleman. Joshua and Abigail are my 3 year old twins (yeah, newborn twins and a 2 and a half year was a bit tricky, but that's for another post). Josh is a studious little sunshine child, and Abby is my wilful, independant little angel. Yes, we have our moments as you will soon come to find out, but all in all they're great kids and somewhere along the line we've done something right!

We're a Christian family, so lots of the stuff on here will have a Christian slant - and if you don't like it - no worries - go somewhere else. It's the net, people, you can go where you want! But I do hope you'll stay - God works in mysterious ways!